Never.

I will NEVER be the beautiful gay man I will NEVER have six pack abs. I will NEVER have the perfect nose, mouth or teeth. I will NEVER have enough money. There will ALWAYS be people who will NEVER take me seriously... That's ok.... You know what?.. I HAVE been LOVED! I KNOW people who find ME attractive. I KNOW just how BEAUTIFUL my SOUL is. I HAVE something to GIVE to people. PEOPLE LOVE ME! I'm now LOVING MYSELF The rest are LITTLE THINGS...that can or cannot be changed... That's ok... I have been LOVED I can LOVE People can and have accepted my LOVE That's ok... I'm growing in every single WAY!

The Price of Love. ( From The Document of Affections)

The price of freedom is always high
The price of love is always high


Tomorrow on…
To fell—and to yet love

I will always love him

I will always want to hold him
Ah, but if I could have but a kiss!

But I will always love him


I have become a stumbling block to him

I love him…but I tire of upholding all my gemstones. The ones of whom I see are the ones whom there perception of me that I question.

Rightly so…


For one was asked when I asked him
One was talked to quite religiously,
When I begged to talked for hem to talk to me

Do I dare keep a score of wrongs?


Is this Love?

Can I afford to forget?

Can I still love hem?

This terrible time of testing!
How much my heart yearns for peace!

How much has he changed me.
For on his rejection of me I have found freedom
Yet I will still love hem.

He whispers in my ear…
Hello….
I smile, my heart gasps.
Will I be the only one to embrace hem?

Is this the price?
Copyright 2004

Granted. ( from The Document of Affections)

Granted.




If I could be granted a few things before I die.



Let me kiss your bare shoulder, and fell your skin.



Let my striving be summed up in those three words…

copyright 2003

The Mission ( Part IV)

Epilogue



No ill will towards none…

To the one whom I have known
To the one whom I’m proud to have
known.
May the Father richly bless you forever more!
But to the one who said that I’m no longer needed in that persons life, I thank you!
For saying that—no matter how painful that may be low and behold you have given me a gift to grow on my dependence on the Lord.
Yes I have known you.
Shall we part ways forever more? What good things shall be in store for us?
As my path progresses God puts people in this life that I would want to hang on to. But see! I am not afraid anymore!
But hear me my friend, I’m human and loneness should not be my ultimate companion on this new path that I’m on. There are no old comforts hear anymore.
I must walk unmasked, with no defense I can put up. For no longer can I fight!
Why try to win what I cannot win?
That is madness.
So what difference does it make for me to hold on to what I never really had?
To what end will it bring me?
Aug 20, 1997











Benediction.

In death of life and in life of life, the Long—Wonder traveled along. Dark paths he wondered to places where he did not want to go. But along his death march he never traveled really alone, for there I was in spirit, and the truth was told, to me and to him by that spirit of old.
Old in body he will never be, for he is trapped in the rigor of youth. He is now free.
My eyes I have seen him one more time and the life that I knew as was once in his eyes,
Oh precious thought!
Oh wonderful opportunity!
How grand your gift was to me.
Long—Wonders staff has been passed on to me. Roads I have traveled and will travel abound ‘round me.
In your hands oh Lord he now resides, the life he had will never pass by. For his life—like Light around me shines casting darkness away from the mountainside.
And there I shall pass, let peace abide for the staff of Long—Wonderer shall be my guide!
Go in peace my friend for your troubles shall be no more. Rest in peace on that other shore, and the Light shall shine around you forever more!

Remembrance.

Remembrance

Remember what was and what could have been.

If by chance you ever think of me one fact should come to pass...

That I loved you dearly.

And paid that price…I forgot to count the cost!

In your searching eyes

In your long fingers….In your voice….

If by chance you think of me one fact should come to pass though your mind.

That I will remember you!

Dear God! Let me not forget what was taught to me!

Let me count the cost!

In baffled fellings, in crushed hopes, but in new dawns.

This is the ending of this chapter, things will pass away.

It never came to being!... how foolish my heart was!

Ah!! My longing eyes!

My empty hands!

My silent voice!

Be Gone!

Be gone my heart!

Remember me Dear One.

For I loved you!

Think of it!... How rare that saying is!

I’ll remember you when you have gone away…you to....Remember Me.

Copyright © 2005 Robert Hughes III. All Rights Reserved