Saturday, July 31, 2010

The Mission ( Part IV)


No ill will towards none…

To the one whom I have known
To the one whom I’m proud to have
May the Father richly bless you forever more!
But to the one who said that I’m no longer needed in that persons life, I thank you!
For saying that—no matter how painful that may be low and behold you have given me a gift to grow on my dependence on the Lord.
Yes I have known you.
Shall we part ways forever more? What good things shall be in store for us?
As my path progresses God puts people in this life that I would want to hang on to. But see! I am not afraid anymore!
But hear me my friend, I’m human and loneness should not be my ultimate companion on this new path that I’m on. There are no old comforts hear anymore.
I must walk unmasked, with no defense I can put up. For no longer can I fight!
Why try to win what I cannot win?
That is madness.
So what difference does it make for me to hold on to what I never really had?
To what end will it bring me?
Aug 20, 1997


In death of life and in life of life, the Long—Wonder traveled along. Dark paths he wondered to places where he did not want to go. But along his death march he never traveled really alone, for there I was in spirit, and the truth was told, to me and to him by that spirit of old.
Old in body he will never be, for he is trapped in the rigor of youth. He is now free.
My eyes I have seen him one more time and the life that I knew as was once in his eyes,
Oh precious thought!
Oh wonderful opportunity!
How grand your gift was to me.
Long—Wonders staff has been passed on to me. Roads I have traveled and will travel abound ‘round me.
In your hands oh Lord he now resides, the life he had will never pass by. For his life—like Light around me shines casting darkness away from the mountainside.
And there I shall pass, let peace abide for the staff of Long—Wonderer shall be my guide!
Go in peace my friend for your troubles shall be no more. Rest in peace on that other shore, and the Light shall shine around you forever more!
The Long-Wonders Lamentations of Joy.
( Part II to Jason’s Prayer, The Ending )

Self Worth?

Who have I found Lord?
Day… by day, by day creeps though this place. To the last second of recorded time.
Shall this flame be put out?
Are you the poor player? Who struts and frets upon this stage for a brief time and is then no more?

Do you have the power to gage your own self-worth?
What whispers have you been lesasing to?
Are they in the past or the present?
Do you have the power to let go?...
Do you want to?...

Uplift the One who has given you the power to change.

Who are you running from?
What are you running from?
Do not turn your heart from the words that you hear.
Understanding dwells within your own!

Do you walk on the streets only to have people laugh at you?
Will they say ‘look at yourself! You’re an embarrassment to me! Go away!’ With their tongues’ as wedges they separate themselves from you.

What will you say my friend?
Will you reject there words and toss them acrimoniously back in their faces?
Had you had done that then you would have done an ugly thing indeed.
My eyes are attuned for seeing things that other people do not see.

Oh what sights I see!
What can be more alluring than an early morning rose?
What can be mightier than the great redwood trees of old?
Can the sea mold a beach to its own liking?
Of course it can.
Can a caterpillar change into a butterfly?

By myself I cannot make you fell beautiful alone.
In my book there are many meanings to that word.

What can you change about yourself?
Brown eyes to blue?
Six feet to seven feet?
Two hundered pounds of muscle?
Hair blond or brown, to black or black to chestnut?
Square chin or round face?

You’re chasing after something that will never give you satisfaction.

You carry more glory then the redwood trees!
You’re more pleasant then the finest rose.
You as capable of change like the power of the seas!
You can go though changes like the butterfly.
You have the power of the Light behind you!

A mystery is laid before you.
Are gloom y clouds and darkness around you?
Do you put a veil over your sight?
Can you not see?

Were you scorned early in your life?
Can you not hear?
Hear not of those old words, but hear the Truth of the Word…and of me.
Do you have the strength to focus on the Truth?
Surly you know the truth?
Will you allow it to set you free?...

‘Lament Long-Wonderer cry out you pain to me
For in me is rest’ says the Lord.

What is pain without growth, and what is growth without pain?
Lament on the fact that you are in pain, but put it to good use. For pain is good.

Fear you must have in great abundance, because I scence them, but I do not know them.

And what do you fear?
Of the risk we take for loves sake?
Hear me forever more utter these words.
‘For as the sun sets in the west, I shall never betray you.’
I will call to your attention anything that is harmful to you when I can see it.
You were despised and a man full of grief. You in the morning of our lives.
Cry out the fact that the load that we carry is heavy.
But relief is long in the waiting.
And joy comes….

The Mission (Part III)

Jason’s Prayer Part I
Oh Lord lend me your ear to my complaint.
My Lord, my God what can be mightier then thee?
I ask you—the one who made the seas, lifted up the mountains. The one who made all things Lord, surly you know what goes on in this heart!

Vanish before me oh shades of depression!
Come before me oh good thoughts!
Be content.
Be content in the loving arms of your God
For He draws near to give you comfort everlasting.

My Lord, my Sovereign God
Master of all things; grant me the power to bind up the darkness and to cast them forever away from me!

Be resolute and strong!
Let not self-doubt build a fortress within my heart.
If my body grows tired, then I will rest.
So will I rest in the Lord my God?...

Letting Go.
To you Lord my Sovereign do I comment them to your loving arms.
I think it is only fitting that I should let it go.
Do I curse them?
I humbly bless them!
Let them find companionship in one another.
For this heart once filled with bitterness and envy fills now with understanding.
I do thank you Lord.
I am sorry that my ways have been intrusive, for I was filled with overt concern

Is it too much to proclaim myself a human?
The storms of curiosity sweeps me!
And the bitter dryness of loneliness parches me!
Do I long for a cup?
Does my heart pants?
My soul will not wither on the vine for I know my God fills me with living waters
But should a servant of God go forever on a lonely road?
No he should not!
So therefore I cast them away from me—wishing them well and with scant pantaice I will wait for my friend to come.
Oh Lord let them forever go peacefully into your good ways. Let them build one another up, and not teare themselves down.
But I know my Lord that you are my Supreme Builder.
Who can make a monument to themselves?
Even the lowest creature on earth rises above it!
For haughty and vain man is!
What man of evil can dine on thy table?
For that man must take off his coat and shoes and sit in the last chair if he may dare deem himself worthy to sit in your presence
How lovely is your dwelling place oh Lord! For you make light out of dark spaces. Just as you raise what was once weak in me you make it strong.

The Mission (part II)

The Seeker Found.

Behold! I tell you a mystery.
The seeker who walked in this place, has he seen the Light?
Is it possible?

For what the Seeker sought was the things of this world.
They, in and of themselves are meaningless.

Has he grown tired of chasing after the wind?
I have looked at hem now for four weeks, and there is change.

He sings a new song now, but I can not recognize. What does it say? Of tales to come or adventurous chapters gone by?

Yes Lord he has sung me some of his songs; they are old and fret with troubles. Of foolish youth was he! But youth is still with him now.
But what shall become of hem?
Is the wisdom that he has so far gained in this world—will it prove to him meaningless?
If the old shall pass away, and new things come, then what shall become of the things he has learned over his short life?

He is still young, as I have said before; his mind not yet reached its zenith. I rejoice in that fact, because he still has a chance.

The Seeker shall leave this place for good soon. Will his friendship also abandon me to?

He did not seek me along his path, I sought him. That I must accept that bitter fact.

If he cannot accept my cup, if he deems himself too high above me, then I will accept that. But let it be known that I have long since accepted him.
With all this laid out before me.
Can it be said that maybe he has accepted my friendship in his own ways? In ways that I cannot understand?
Does this possible fact give me hope?

The Seeker seeks all good things.
But found what he thought was good, but it nearly destroyed him.

What does he seek now?
Will he try? Does he have am option?
Is there a choice?

To what he seeks—I seek. Do we both have the wisdom to recognize what is good?
His goals are of an just and honorable kind…his goals are mine!
Do we have the will to see them though? Or will we in our frustration take another path that will lead us off a cliff?

Who has wisdom here? Who seeks it? Or will the hunger for domation turn us away?

He will leave me now, perhaps to never cross paths again. If this must be so—then let it be. And I with a sad heart will accept it.

And with my mouth I will utter this words to whom I have called to Seeker…

I have called you the Long—Wonderer, so you can roam free. You are on a journey as well as me!
Seek to live life wholly and wholesomely.
Stray not from your path to seek Love. Seek the company of good friends.
Wonder long and wonder far but don’t forget who your friends really are! Give praise for the One who has put you on your path, seek and hold on to that love at last!

Oh Lord Forever guide the Seeker’s hand in life. Give him—my friend strength everlasting.

June 28, July 18, 1996

The Mission (Part 1)

Hello all...this is a large work that is a work in progress. This work is about my time in Muncie Mission and my relationships I had with people and how it affected my and my views about myself and about my reglious bliefs. All copyrights observered.

The Mission.
(My Transformation)

Part One

Jason Thomas Long

March 15, 1976---November 10, 2006
My friend in life and in death.

I do believe in one GOD.
Father almighty, lord of the earth.
I believe in Jesus God’s son and my savior.
He came into this world, born in a lowly place.
Lived a humble life.
The sheapard was killed for his beliefs—he hung on a cross. The earth shook, and the curtain was ripped in the most holy of holies.
He walked among us, he rose up into heaven. And sits at the right hand of god.
He is love incarnate.


In my eyes and in my writings, you shall be called the Long-Wonderer
For you wonder in places where no one wants to go. His staff be with you, let it be your own.

May 1, 1996

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

On the banks of a river in June.

It is a pleasant thing to realize that all things change.
Even on this most placid of days.
A breeze, a cottenball sky.
Plesent smiles.
A campfire—a campsite.
My beloved, my best friend will leave me—and he will not return the same ever again. So on that perfect day when he returns to me shall I think of that day in June when all seemed right and cool and still under the shade of cottonwood trees on the bank of the river?
What shall I remember on that day? When all was right with the world?
When the emptiness of my wallet did not betray the emptiness of my heart?
I look at all I love.
I love my friend.
Across the sea the Motherland awaits, and her heart will receive him.
On this prefect day –when all is right and cool and holy in this world..hear and now…
I shall remember this day on the banks of a river in the month of June...under cottonwood trees.

copyright July 2010

The verdant hills and green slops where I lay to rest—and my heart longs for change. Therein lies my secrets, and there lies my pathway for change.

In my plainness, lies my despair.
Like a caged bird that does not sing.
And I do not know why.
The four walls come creeping closer.
My wings clipped.
My voice gone…